Twin Peaks Usenet Archive

Subject: Mindless speculation about the killer (SPOILER?)
From: (Wayne Mesard)
Date: 1990-04-16, 19:00
Reply-to: mesard@BBN.COM (Wayne Mesard)

Skip the rest of this article, if you don't want to hear WHODONEIT


Favorite theories of the week (these all expire at 10:00 EST 19 Apr 90):

1) The whole town did it.  (Cf. Murder on the Orient Express)

2) Nobody did it.  Accidental suicide.

3) She OD'ed on Spice.

4) The log did it. (Did you notice how shifty-eyed it was last week?)
   (And the cherry pie drove the get-away car.)

Who didn't do it:

1) That truck driver.  Too obvious.  He might have done that other girl
   (and just when are going to hear from her anyway?), but the smart money
   had already decided that the incidents were unrelated.  (You can
   quote me on that.)  Remember that the attack last year was in a
   different part of the state.  Truck drivers travel a lot.  And this
   one came home early the day after the rape with blood on his shirt.

2) The football boyfriend.  Killers don't have nice hair.

3) The biker.  (Gosh this guy's really good with names.  You can tell
   he's a real fan.)  Jack Kerouac characters aren't killers.

Wayne("You heard it here first.");